Recently, Alyssa noticed several tiny ticks around the eyes and lips of her outdoor cat, Rhemy. Tweezers in hand, she pulled him into her lap and went to work. Rhemy sat — still and calm — his face toward hers as she tweezed the ticks off, one by one, until they were all removed.
Tweezing ticks off any cat, especially around their eyes, isn’t an easy task. When you find out that less than one year ago Rhemy was fully feral, this story becomes truly amazing.
Months of gentle coaxing and cat treats made him friendly.
More months of kindness and affection made him unafraid.
Now this: trust.
Building trust is part of every success story, including the ones with cats, husbands, friends, kids, and coworkers.
You know success, so you know what it is to build trust.
But did you know that breaking trust is as much a part of success as building trust?
More on this in a minute.
We’re pretty sure that if you asked most people who know you, “Do you trust me?” the answer would be an emphatic “YES!”
When it comes to the practices that build trust, you know what to do.
You’re reliable, dependable, and quick to respond. You display confidence. People know your commitment to show up and to get things done. Your continued success says to those around you: I can do this! You can trust me.
While getting things done is important to building trust, it’s only part of the process.
Trust is also built on knowing who you are — the woman behind the action.
In case you’re wondering, you are fierce and formidable! You’re also honest, compassionate, and vulnerable. You dream big, step small, create boldly, and work hard. You walk by faith and live with confidence. You’re not defined by labels or a resume. You know your worth, and you can’t be bought. You — the woman behind the action — are authentic and unapologetic. You champion others and live with the conviction that your life is making a difference.
There was a time when this description and question made us really uncomfortable. This is when we realized that we were living in broken trust… with ourselves!
We didn’t know who we were. We only knew ourselves by our work. The woman behind the action was nothing but a myth.
Maybe this is where you are today.
Maybe you’re feeling like the realest version of yourself is listed on LinkedIn or established in the praises of colleagues and family. Maybe it’s in how you live or where you work. It could be your Insta-life or Facebook following.
Like most successful women, it’s easy to set aside the woman behind the action — who you are — in pursuit of what you do… almost as if it’s an either-or proposition.
In Romans 8:28 (TPT), Paul puts your best life into perspective — God’s perspective. And he does it with the skill of a tentmaker (or designer). Paul writes that every detail of your everyday life is “continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good” into it all.
We love this passage, but we love the context even more.
Paul writes these words immediately after he expresses TOTAL frustration over the disconnect between his own “who” and “do.” That’s right! Paul experienced this disconnect to the point of disliking himself (Romans 8:24).
But he didn’t stay here. He reconnected to God, and God realigned his perspective.
Paul’s words and experience are a reminder that we all break trust with ourselves… so let yourself off the hook. It’s time to reconnect with the woman behind the action and with God — the one who created you (Jer. 1:5), counts the hairs on your head (Luke 12:7), and knows you fully (Ps. 139).
TWEEZERS AND TRUST.
To build trust well in all spheres of life, you need to know who you are, not just what you do.
God’s ready to meet you in this process.
His help looks a lot like the story that started this post, only He’s the one with the tweezers, and you don’t have literal ticks.
What you do have are places where you’ve broken trust with yourself — places where the real woman behind the action is hidden, covered, maybe buried! What you see and show others are your accomplishments, accolades, and aspirations.
Yet there’s more depth and vulnerability in you. To be authentic isn’t just about presenting the truth that looks good, but also about seeing and allowing others to see what’s hidden in your heart — your mistakes and pain, your dreams and desires.
He wants you to see yourself as more than what you do. Just like Paul, God wants you to see yourself from His perspective.
You might be asking yourself, how do I get there?!
We get it! We asked the same question and the answer was the same, every time.
So read Proverbs 31:10-31 in The Passion Translation. Every time you see the word “she,” replace it with your name.
Read it again and again. Embrace the process of seeing yourself from His perspective. Let His perspective change yours.
If this speaks to you, write these verses down. Then put them where you see them, and read them daily. The more you see it, read it, and hear it, the more these words will settle in your heart. This is when you begin to believe!
When you believe what God says about you, you can trust yourself and others fully.
Keep reading, and let’s keep building life well, together.